F*ing First Times

FFT stands for F*ing First Time. These are new experiences that can bring up fear, anxiety, discomfort, vulnerability, and other big emotions. If you are on a path of growth and healing, it is likely that you have or will experience a FFT’s. Through FFT’s we grow and through growth, we truly live. Below are some tips to help you manage and work through FFT’s.

Label It

• Say to yourself “oh this is hard because I am in a FFT.”

Normalize It

• Remind yourself “this is how new is supposed to feel.” “Everyone has a starting point.”

Check for Cognitive Distortions

• All or Nothing Thinking. Just because you aren’t great at something new, doesn’t mean you aren’t great at other things. You can struggle with learning something new AND be great at other things. 

• Absolutes. Remove the words ‘always’ and ‘never.’ Yes, this is going to take time, but you will figure it out and it will get easier with time. 

Remove Expectations

• Allow yourself to take this new journey without placing expectations on yourself. If you expect that you will figure it out after two tries, you could be setting yourself up for disappointment, shame, and perhaps the missed opportunity to succeed on your third try. 

Breathe

• Breathing helps us feel calmer and think more clearly.

Reach Out

• Call a friend for support. Sometimes we need an outside voice for support, encouragement, or assistance with problem-solving.

• Google is always available. Are you learning how to find a new job, trying to manage anxiety, or having a parenting first? There are so many resources available online.

FFT’s require you to feel uncomfortable and be brave. Through discomfort, we grow and through growth, we are able to live fully and wholeheartedly.