Ways To Say “No”

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” -Brene Brown

Setting boundaries around time, personal space, and the requests of others can help create balance in our life and proper self-care. 

When you set healthy boundaries with others by saying “no”, you can say “yes” to yourself. Perhaps you can say “yes” to the sewing project you’ve been wanting to do, time with loved ones, a quiet afternoon, or being with people you enjoy. 

When we do things that we don’t have time for, feel stressful, or involve people that are toxic for us, not only do we take away from our own needs, but we create a greater need for self-care by adding to our emotional and/or physical stress.

Below are some assertive, but courteous ways to say “no”. If you struggle with setting boundaries and assertive communication, it may be helpful to get support from a counselor. Sometimes deeper things like our thoughts, anxiety, previous traumas, or unhealthy relationships can make it difficult to set boundaries. A counselor can help you work through these deeper areas to build your ability to set healthy boundaries and say “no” confidently. 

-That won’t work for my schedule

-No, but thank you for thinking of me

-I am not available this week, but maybe another time

-That won’t work for me

-Thank you for the invite, but I am not available

-Unfortunately, I am unable to help